Bayden
Finding meaning in the most challenging moments of our lives.
Life is a journey full of highs and lows, and sometimes, the challenges can feel insurmountable. Moments of darkness—when all hope seems lost—are a universal human experience.
But here’s the truth: it’s always darkest before the dawn. The key to overcoming these moments is to remember that light is just around the corner, even if it’s not immediately visible.
This article explores how to find strength when life feels unbearable, offering tips, anecdotes, and research-backed strategies to help you keep going.
The Universality of Struggle
Everyone faces hardships at some point in life. The struggles may differ—a lost job, a heartbreak, health issues, or financial stress—but the feelings of defeat and despair are universal. Even the most successful people have endured periods of darkness.
Did you know: Oprah Winfrey faced poverty and abuse in her early life but went on to become one of the world’s most influential figures. Or that J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter while battling depression and living on government benefits.
Research from the American Psychological Association shows that resilience is not a trait that people either have or don’t have; it’s a skill that can be developed. Understanding that struggles are a part of the human experience helps to normalize difficult times and reduces feelings of isolation.
What sets people apart is not the presence of adversity but how they respond to it. When things feel hopeless. You know that saying, it doesn’t matter how many times you fall off of the horse, what matters is how many times you get back on it. Well, it’s like that.
But how do we get back on it, when we don’t even want to think about that damned horse?
Here are some practical steps to help you shift your perspective and begin to rise:
Acknowledge Your Feelings, it’s much harder to do than to write, I am well aware of this, but it’s important to at least say something about what you are feeling. Even it’s as simple as “I am feeling Feelings”, that’s a great place to start.
Suppressing emotions often leads to greater stress. Instead, allow yourself to feel and process what you’re experiencing. Journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or seeking therapy can provide a safe space to express your emotions. Recognizing your pain is the first step toward healing.
Focusing on Small Wins, something as tiny as feeding the pets on time, or making your bed, while they may seem trivial, one by one they start to add up. Put enough of them together and a pattern of success starts to emerge.
Practice Gratitude. Yeah, I know, sometimes hearing this is enough to make you involuntarily roll your eyes, but there is so much to it. Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right. Studies have shown that practicing gratitude can improve mental health and increase overall happiness. Start by jotting down three things you’re grateful for each day—no matter how small.
Surround Yourself with Support, don’t let yourself be stuck alone with your thoughts. A dark cavern is even scarier when we are alone. Isolation often magnifies feelings of defeat. Lean on friends, family, or support groups for encouragement. Sharing your struggles not only lightens the load but also reminds you that you’re not alone.
Even a phone call to a friend or family member is enough to help get us out of ourselves long enough to break the cycle of despair.
Reframe Negative Thoughts, that’s just another way of saying, try not to think about it, or try thinking of it another way. It’s cliche, but solid advice. The more we think about an issue the larger it appears. Reframing our thoughts can help us to see the situation a bit differently.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) emphasizes the power of reframing negative thoughts. Instead of saying, “I’ll never get through this,” try thinking, “This is tough, but I have overcome challenges before, and I can do it again.” Reframing fosters a more optimistic outlook.
Another awesome practice is to Focus on Your Strengths. Take a moment to reflect on times when you’ve faced difficulties and emerged stronger. What strengths helped you then? Resilience, determination, problem-solving? Tapping into these strengths can reignite your confidence.
A good practice is to, every time your thoughts turn to the dark matter, consciously turn your mind to something you are good at, even it’s completely unrelated to the dark stuff.
Here are a few stories of Triumph.
These are included because it’s important to remember that we are not the only ones to have experienced difficulties or set backs.
Consider the story of Thomas Edison. After years of experimentation and thousands of failed attempts, he finally invented the lightbulb. When asked about his failures, Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” His perseverance transformed a dark period of trial and error into a groundbreaking success.
Or check this one out…
A Mother’s Determination
Another inspiring tale is that of Malala Yousafzai, who faced unimaginable challenges growing up in Pakistan under Taliban rule. After surviving an assassination attempt, Malala became a global advocate for girls’ education. Her story is a testament to the power of resilience and the belief that one person can change the world.
The Science of Bouncing Back (Yes, there’s a science for that!)
The Growth Mindset
Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset reveals that viewing challenges as opportunities for growth can significantly improve resilience. People with a growth mindset see failures as stepping stones rather than roadblocks.
The Power of Hope. Hope is more than just a feeling; it’s a powerful motivator. Research by psychologist Charles Snyder found that hope is linked to better problem-solving skills, increased motivation, and higher levels of well-being. Cultivating hope through visualization—imagining a better future—can inspire action.
Have you ever noticed that, sometimes, when you are flustered or really feeling irritated with a situation or moment, that things start to happen like dominoes falling? One thing leads to another, which causes something else happen that leads to… ok, you get it. But the point is… sometimes it is best to just pause, take a breath, relax, and clear our heads a bit before we continue.
Heading in another direction now…
Endorphins and Exercise: Did you know that Physical activity is a proven way to combat feelings of defeat. Exercise releases endorphins, the brain’s “feel-good” chemicals, which can help reduce stress and improve mood. Even a 15-minute walk can make a difference.
Have you ever heard of a “Runners High”? That’s when the body is supercharged with oxygen and other amazing things that signal to our brains that we are doing something. Endorphins are amazing.
Turning Pain Into Purpose, maybe, just maybe… there is a bigger picture reason for it all going down as it is. Many people who have faced significant hardships use their experiences to create positive change.
For example, Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, wrote Man’s Search for Meaning based on his experiences in concentration camps. He argued that finding purpose, even in the face of suffering, is essential for survival.
This is not to make light of Viktor’s horrific experiences, not even a little bit. So tragic. So sad.
But! (Behold Underlying Truth) his story has gone on the help millions of people over the decades since. And you, possibly, are one of them now.
Viktor did not suffer so that you could read this, but you are reading this because he found a way to ad meaning to his suffering. See how that works?
Ask yourself: How can I use my current struggles to grow or help others? Turning pain into purpose can provide a sense of fulfillment and a reason to keep going.
For many, suffering, or melancholy is brought on by specific situations, for others it may be a cyclical experience. Yet for others there maybe deeper trauma attached to their experience. Whatever the cause, the experience is one of an utter sense of sorrow, powerlessness, or worse.
Here are some practices that may help you overcome these moments. They are called practices for a reason; because we practice them…
Practical Strategies for Long-Term Resilience
1. Develop a Routine
A routine provides structure and stability, which can be especially grounding during chaotic times. Incorporate activities that nurture your mind, body, and soul, such as meditation, exercise, or reading.
2. Celebrate Progress
Acknowledge every step forward, no matter how small. Progress is progress, and celebrating it reinforces your determination.
3. Limit Negative Influences
Identify and minimize sources of negativity, whether it’s certain people, social media, or news. Surround yourself with positivity and uplifting content.
4. Seek Professional Help
If feelings of defeat persist, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide valuable tools and support. Therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness.
5. Create a Vision Board (a what?) A Vision Board!
Visualize the life you want to create by crafting a vision board. This tangible representation of your goals can serve as a daily reminder of what you’re working toward.
Embracing the Dawn
Remember, the night doesn’t last forever. Just as the darkest hour gives way to the first light of day, your challenges can lead to growth, transformation, and renewed hope. Life’s toughest moments often precede its most beautiful ones.
When you feel like giving up, remind yourself of these truths:
– You have survived 100% of your hardest days so far.
– Struggles build strength and character.
– Every setback is an opportunity for a comeback.
Life’s challenges may test your limits, but they also reveal your inner strength. By acknowledging your feelings, taking small steps, and focusing on growth, you can navigate even the darkest moments with resilience and hope.
Remember, it’s always darkest before the dawn—and the dawn is worth waiting for.
Sometimes jus saying those words “It’s always darkest before the dawn!” is enough to shift your being into a feeling of ease.
